7 Ways to De-Stress
12:00 PM
If you asked me two years ago, introvert would not be the word I
would use to describe myself. I could have hour long conversations with a wall
and find it amusing. I never felt uncomfortable in a room full of strangers and
had zero problems talking to people I didn’t know. While dealing with my dad’s
diagnosis, I found myself building walls around walls. I was pretty closed off
and pushed quite a few people away. I didn’t want anyone to know about the
struggles that I was going through, I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me
or try to give me advice on things I didn’t want advice on. So, my solution was
to not let people in. I spent a lot of the last year trying to repair a lot of
the friendships I had brushed to the side.
Since March, I’ve been getting panic attacks frequently and I’ve
been having a hard time trying to figure out the root cause of it all. If
you’re not familiar with panic attacks, here’s some info on it. According
to helpguide.org, “panic
attacks develop abruptly and usually reach their peak within 10 minutes. They
rarely last more than an hour, with most ending within 20 to 30 minutes. Panic
attacks can happen anywhere and at any time. You may have one while you’re in a
store shopping, walking down the street, driving in your car, or even sitting
on the couch at home.”
Panic attack symptoms include:
●
Shortness of breath or
hyperventilation (yup)
●
Heart palpitations or
racing heart (yes)
●
Chest pain or discomfort
(been there)
●
Trembling or shaking (UGH,
YES)
●
Choking feeling (not fun)
●
Feeling unreal or detached
from your surroundings (the space gets smaller and smaller)
●
Sweating (not cute)
●
Nausea or upset stomach
(this is the worst)
●
Feeling dizzy,
light-headed, or faint (yes, again)
●
Numbness or tingling
sensations (usually in my arms)
●
Hot or cold flashes (this
is so uncomfortable)
●
Fear of dying, losing
control, or going crazy (thankfully none of this)
I’ve had this happen to me in the middle of a bar full of people,
in the restroom of a nice restaurant, at dinner with my best friend, on my way
home in an Uber, on my way to a meeting, while I was shopping at Jo-Ann and
even sitting in my office. It’s been an adjustment mourning the loss of my dad.
Traditionally, it’s a service followed by the funeral. But my mother is
Buddhist, so it also included prayer service at temple for an hour or two every
Sunday for seven weeks after his passing. We also did a 100-day prayer service
and will be doing another one later this month as we prepare to spread his
ashes in the ocean. Every time that I think I’m done crying about it, something
I see or hear just sets me off. I know now that my panic attacks are connected
to his passing. I’ve been learning to manage my stress and anxiety trying to
pour myself into productive and positive projects (such as the launch of this
blog). Here are some of the things that have helped me (in no particular
order):
1. Stop and Take a Breath
Sometimes it’s that simple. We are being
force-fed information every second of every day. Through the gym and attorney
billboards we see while driving to work to the Instagram ads that are somehow
picking up conversations we’re having with friends (um, Instagram, how did you
know I was just talking about Bali?). It’s hard to just have a moment to
ourselves. We are so overwhelmed with text messages and app notifications that
it’s made us all anxious people. So, stop and take a breath.
2. Talk It Out
For those of us who tend to be more reactive, we like to blurt out
our frustrations as soon as we’re going through it (hi, that’s me, but I’m
working on it). As soon as I let it all out, I’m as good as new and ready to
move on to the next task without any lingering feelings. Venting to loved ones
can be healthy in small doses. It helps to have someone that truly understands
you listen to what you’re going through and provide advice if needed.
3. Write It Down
Others may need more time to process and work things through, for
those I would suggest writing it down. When it comes to making big,
life-changing decisions, I always find myself making pro and cons lists. Being
able to visually see all the options in front of me helps me making my
decisions. Similarly, sometime when I’m upset or stressed about something,
writing all my thoughts down on paper helps me understand what was really
bothering me in the first place. Often times, it was never the same thing that
actually set me off (that’s just me projecting).
4. Get Up, Get Active
Whether it be taking the fur babies out for a walk around the
block, biking to the grocery store or doing a 20-minute hip hop dance workout
you found on YouTube. The big idea here is to get up and do something that will
take your mind off whatever it was that was bothering you. Sometimes doing a
simple finger to toe stretch can do the trick. Sometimes it requires you going
out outside to get some fresh air. But, just do something that will disrupt
your normal flow.
5. Music Therapy
With free music apps like Spotify and Pandora there’s no excuse to
not having great music to listen to. If you’re not a natural-born DJ, that’s
ok. These free music apps have curated playlists for every kind of mood you’re
in. Here are some playlists that I’ve created:
6. Take a Bath
One of my favorite things to do is set up a bathtub full of
bubbles with some bath balms and Epsom salt (helps with any soreness and just
overall relaxes your body). You can read a few chapters of that book you’ve
been waiting to dive into, you can play spa music and just let your mind go
blank or even enjoying a glass of bubbly with some fruits. Now that I think
about it, why not do all the things!
7. Watch Cute Videos
I have a folder on Instagram full of cute animal videos and I turn
to it anytime I’m having a down moment. It’s cheers me up instantly. If dogs
are your thing, save videos of dogs (might I suggest the
#whatthefluffchallenge). If dolphins are our thing, save videos of dolphins! If
you love videos of babies doing adorable things, save videos of babies doing
adorable things! You get the idea.
For more ideas, check out these articles:
●
Inc: How to De-Stress at Work
●
Entrepreneur: 25 Simple and Proven Ways to De-Stress
As I think back, the one thing I would do differently is to not
turn away the people who wanted to be there for me. I know that they had the
best intentions at heart, but no one can prepare you on the loss of a parent.
There’s no one size fits all guide to “How to Deal with a Parent who has
Cancer”. I am not a therapist or psychologist, but I wanted to share the things
that worked for me and I’m hoping that they can help you.
If you’re going through a difficult time in your life right now,
know that you’re not alone. My inbox is always open, leave me a comment down
below or DM me on Instagram.
With love,
Linh ♡ labour of love
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